Midnight Stream of Conscious: A Meditation on Rain: In the In Between

A stream of conscious writing excersize that I do at year's end. And then I post it.... hmmm... I think that helps it be cathartic. Nevertheless, feel free to skip or better yet, try yourself.



I am exceptionally vulnerable to heartbreak because I want the world, and I am a romantic. Yes. I want the world and all of the love within it. My life has been lead with my heart more often than with my eyes. In fact my eyes have been but a silent witness to all the places my heart has lead me.

With love I feel I can move mountains and perhaps, I’ve come to see that love is my deepest motivation. To be loved. To be in love. To know love. To write about love. To embrace love. To celebrate it. To give it. To experience God’s love because there is none greater. He is the love supreme.

I live my life in the public eye but I appreciate my solitude more than ever. I think the buzz of quiet, the gentle whir of the heater, a car passing by, the refrigerator’s hum is Zen. A meditation on the emptiness of life, and sometimes we need to just exist in the stillness and back away from the everything, the good, bad, and the goodbad that is the universe.

I am experiencing a renaissance, a spiritual awakening that delves deeper than prayer several times per day. I want go beyond supplication, praise, and request… I want to be intimate with God’s love within the world and identify the spirit that moves within me.

I am learning that the world is not black and white. Good and bad. Male and female. We don’t live in a world of opposites. We live in a world of everything. I’ve struggled with the question of whether or not we are powerless, the mere actors of God’s will, or whether or not we have any form of power over desires. I am learning that true desire is God’s will coursing through the body, begging us to listen and obey. I am learning that there is power in vision, faith, work and feeling but like all worldly power, but our human power is always checked by the Supreme.

In life you have to choose a role and stick to it. My role, a glamorous bon vivant with an old spirit and a flair for the dramatic. A diva. A goddess. However you spin it, I have learned that we do wear a mask and even when we want people to peer behind it, and we desperately want to reveal ourselves, we can’t always. Sometimes we have to take deep breaths and just stay in character. And we have to learn how to love ourselves with clothes on and naked.

I love pearls and things that shine. I love being a woman who walks with a sway and whose legs perform a ballet every time she sits. I adore yoga and I love the unity of mind, body, and spirit. Perhaps that has been the goal of this entire year; to unite my trinity—to form a foundation, to liberate my spirit from negative energy, and to encourage positive outcomes. And while I’ve learned to experience pure elation, I have also learned how to breathe through pain, whether if it’s a contorted yoga position that distorts my ligaments and diaphragm or heartbreak. Breathe. In and out. Life is about tapping into the greater self, pursuing our truths, and praising the Almighty for pleasure and pain because both are the necessary ebbs and flows of life.

It has been a glorious year, but a year of rain. Sometimes low lying clouds obscuring my sight. Sometimes thunderbolts and gloom. And sometimes summer rain. Either way, water cleanses washes, baptizes, changes things, and makes it possible for growth in nature. Rain is the poet’s equivalent of hope. I am not quite sure where I am, but I know more now, what I am, and that my spirit is in a totally different place than it was 12 months ago, though still moving towards awareness, fulfillment and the spotlight. I became a woman this year.

On the eve of the next year, and the day after my birthday, I must admit, part of me still mourns for dreams deferred. For pain. But part of me rejoices. The sun is on my back. My disco ball earrings are sparkling as are my eyes and my smile. This will be a year of love. Maybe not romance. But I will touch people this year with a spirit of love. I will write about love. I will continue on my spiritual journey. I will honor the love in my life. And I will love myself. Fall in love all over again. Love myself long and hard and make a vow to never let go.

A Woman'$ Worth: Worth Your Gander

Good morning Divas,

Mom has been telling me it's not how much you make it's how much you save since I was a toddler. And now that I'm a grown woman with grown woman bills and grown woman shopping habits-- her advice is more relevant than ever!!!

A Woman'$ Worth is an amazing blog!! I just stumbled upon it yesterday. It's written by a woman of color but really, I think any young and fabulous diva, regardless of whether she's still walking the halls of academia, taking care of a family, or climbing the corporate ladder, could benefit from it. Arlice Nichole gives financial information,book recommendations, savvy money saving tips, and advice on how we can all reach our personal BESTS. This blog is really a TREASURE. Visit. Bookmark. Love. Love. Love.

A Woman'@ Worth

Coins and Checks,
Ike

Gap Comfy Sweaters, Best Holiday Commercial for 2009

This commercial was so darling I wanted to go out and immediately by a little girl a comfy sweater!

LYRICS: Formal attire, officially retired. Hey mom and dad, guess what? 1,2,3,4 I'm not going to wear it anymore. I love my comfy sweater, I love my comfy sweater. How cute are these boots? How cute are these boots? Forget those pearly dresses. Forget those pearly dresses. Or talk to the moose!

10 Ways To Wear a Cardigan (as Shown by Michelle Obama)

Good afternoon Divas,

She's giving us style. She's giving us grace. And Michelle O has also given us a new-fangled fascination with the 'statement' cardigan. Not just your run of the mill, blah, twin set but fabulous cardigans--- with ruffles, embellishment, bold colors, and ornate buttons. Michelle can work a cardigan so ingeniously that when worn on different occasions you might not even recognize the wardrobe repeat. Well, perhaps the constant scrutiny forces her to be that much more creative, but for us divas on a budget-- we can learn a thing or two. A few quality cardigans can add an infinite possibilities to a divas wardrobe.

Let's have a look see.

1. Classic- Partially buttoned and worn over a shell. That was the only way to debut this gorgeous J.Crew Cardigan in London.

2. Open- Unbuttoned, over a blouse or a dress, you can be open and ready for anything. Michelle has her jeans on and sleeves rolled up as she spends time with some school kids.

3. 'Brooched'-- Michelle has an affinity with brooches and who can blame her? A new way to wear a broach, clasped at the top of a cardigan. It's quite dainty and it works best with a fabulous pencil skirt, full a-line, or a dress.
4. Belted- When she first started belting her cardigans it was-- avant garde. But now, everyone's doing it! It's a chic, and polished look and I think it's wonderful for women who share Mrs. O's pear shape, small waiste and fuller bottom half. It accentuates a fantastic upper body.


5. 'Bowed'- Michelle uses the cardigan to accentuate a bow detail. She's done this look with a few shirts too.

6. Preppy- This look is not just for Carlton Banks. Whether at an outdoor fette or walking to class on campus, this is another marvelous way to 'wear' a cardigan.


7. Sashed- Michelle appears at church wearing a dress and cardigan with a sash around her waist. This more formal look can also be done with a skirt.

8. Ruffled- Michelle shows that ruffled shirts and cardigans are a match made in heaven!
9. Collared- Such a smart look, a great cardigan over a crisp collared shirt, with a belt around the waiste. I love this look for work. I especially love how Michelle exposes the sleeves cuffs.


10. Monochramatic Mix-Up- Mom definitely said that stripes don't go with florals, but with the right monochromatic twin set, Michelle shows that-- maybe they do.
11. (BONUS) Faux Three Piece Suit- A cardigan worn over a collared blouse and under a blazer, with a belt-- love it.


With flyness and funk,

Ike

FLY FUNKY DIVA'S BIG COME BACK!

Divas,


First, please excuse the drama and extranesss in the title.

I started this blog during my senior year in college. That was in 2007. I'm a television reporter now, I've since transformed from a northeastern metropolitan diva to an honorary southern belle, and I'm wrapping my first literary project (published in 2010, hope so). So... I really don't have time to be an ardent blogger of style, sass and class.

But I really want to!

What I loved best was being able to blog about cute little styling tips and beauty tricks that don't cost a bundle, but can make a woman feel and look like a million bucks. Well, as a young tv personality, whose fame far outweighs her paycheck, I've stumbled on so much stuff I can share with you all. This blog is calling me back. And here we are, a year after I called it quits, and people still visit it regularly--- and leave comments.

So I say this all to say-- I think I'm breaking my hiatus, just in time for the New Year. But don't expect crazy, crazy posts. A sister has a full time job. A literarybaby on the way. And another blog that I sometimes do (Noni Jones in Harlem).

Cheers-- to new posts,

Ike

Publish Post

My New Blog: "Noni Jones in Harlem"

Hey divas-

It has been awesome serving you style and culture here at Fly Funky Diva. This is not the end of FFD, but I will be updating it significantly less. I have a brand new literary endeavor in the blogosphere

Ladies and gentleman the Fly Funky Diva presents--

Noni Jones In Harlem!


This is a fictional blog, an on-going saga, that takes place amongst 3 funky divas living in Harlem; Noni, Caroline and Geneva.

Take a look at excerpts. Visit the site and if you love it, pass the good word onto a friend.:

Noni

Fast forward to the good part. Carter comes home Wednesday night. We haven’t had sex in a good week and I’m feeling horny as hell. I welcome Carter to Merlot and Sushi (take out) and then we have one of our royal sexcapades…. A twelve pack of condoms on the night stand, right next to the KY and massage oil. Incense burning, candles and his locks in my face… all night… all morning… all afternoon, into the next night. Close to 24 hours we stayed cocooned in the bedroom, only breaking to eat, get water and use the bathroom. It was the perfect way to reconnect.

The next day, I contract a UTI. I tell Carter about it and we both assume that we just went way too hard. The following evening while Carter is playing with a new composition, I took a hot bath before retiring to bed. I soaked for a good twenty minutes, dried off. Then I pulled back the comforter and sat on the bed applying lotion. As I carry the lotion back to the bathroom, I get this weird sensation between my legs. I stop walking and look down at something hanging out. Lord have mercy…. I pull. IT IS A SOGGY CONDOM THAT HAS BEEN LODGED IN MY DAMN CERVIX SINCE I DON’T KNOW WHEN.

I call Carter into the bathroom demanding an explanation. “Baby, I have no idea….” He’s smiling at the sight of the stretched out condom but ain’t shit funny. I could be pregnant. I mean, I’m not on any form of birth control except…. latex-latex-latex!!! Clearly he and I were so doped up on love and alcohol that we could have overlooked an umm… missing condom. (???) I send him to CVS for Plan B. I’ve never taken it before and it gave me a killer headache, but I realized as panic overtook my entire body… I am not ready to be anybody’s mother right now. Not even if my sable Clarke Kent is my baby’s daddy. Clearly, I have some growing up to do.

Caroline

11:13. I’m now watching a Sex and the City rerun. It’s the episode where Carrie loses her Manolo Blahnik at a get together and her friend decides to be trife. I mean, I feel her pain but really… at 11:13 I’m feeling the throbbing between my legs. I’m sitting on my couch in a burgundy negligee, no panties. Flexing my toes, realizing I need to stop in for a pedicure tomorrow after work. Still no call.

What the fuck?

So I text him. “Hey. Are you on your way?”

I lean back in my couch, stomach churning with butterflies. I’m staring at my phone, waiting for the buzz from his return text. Ten minutes later, the phone vibrates against the glass coffee table.

“Hey. Something came up.”

Oh hell no. No this clown didn’t. My mouth is agape, literally for like two minutes. I’m staring at the text with my mouth wide open. I get desperate. In a move, I’d never pull with a man for whom my feelings surpassed my vagina, I call him. Not once. But twice. I realize as I listen to his voicemail that it wasn’t something that came up, but probably someone….else.

Geneva

It’s 4 AM. Do you know where your man is? In the damn bathroom. Wait, is he peeing. No, he’s talking. To himself…? No, not to himself.

I sat up in bed, afro all smashed out of shape. He was speaking so low with the damn door cracked I could barely make out what he was saying. It coulnd’t have been an emergency. WTF? I laid back down but I didn’t close my eyes. He knew I’d heard him. He walked back in, beautiful and butt naked, put the phone on the night stand, rolled over and went to sleep.

The next morning he woke up and made us eggs and sausage. I threw on my robe, brushed my teeth, washed my face, sprayed on some scent. He acted like he was all into his food.

“What happened last night?”

“Whatchu mean” he said reverting to his Brooklyn Speak.

“You were in the bathroom on the phone?” NEGRO!!!

“Nah. I’mma need you to not be in my business like that right now.”

Say what. I preceded to tell his nappy headed ass that it is my business because it’s my bathroom and that if he wanted to have private conversations at the crack of dawn then he could go outside on the sidewalk with the damn crazies and do so.

We got in an argument that consisted of me saying twice as much as he did. Arguing with Paul is like having it out with a wall. He left. Haven’t heard from him.

Where you been girl?!?!

So as my loyal readers may have guessed, I took a hiatus. Six months ago I began my foray into broadcast journalism, working crazy hours as a reporter in medium-town Florida.

As I have begun doing free-lance work and a hefty non-fiction venture, I assumed I would put FFD down. But I can't. Readers have yet to abandon me (which makes me feel great), and I'm reluctant to abandon them. And all this writing I do-- I need to let loose!!!

So---

I'm coming back. At least weekly, with the random commentary you know and hopefully love.

Flyness and Funk,

Ike
Also-- you can stay up to date on my blog posts, articles, random thoughts and if you're in my neighborhood appearances by following me on Twitter: http://twitter.com/flyfunkydiva.

Fab Affordable Products: Relaxing Bubble Baths

Hey divas,

My form of meditation is the night time bath. Sometimes it's rough on my edges but at least four nights a week I like to light a candle, play some nice music, and fill my tub up with steamy bubbles. Not only does it help me relax and thus sleep better, but its great for reflection and-- my pores! Steam is the answer to great skin.

Nevertheless, I wanted to share with you some great and affordable bath elixirs that really set the mood.



Johnson and Johnson's "Melt Away Stress" Body Wash- This product contains J&J's exclusive aromasoothe fragrance with hints of chamomile and lavender, a winning combo in aromatherapy for relaxation. It is marketed as a body wash that you can use in the shower, but it makes an incredible rich and moisturizing bubble bath. It sells for a little over 6 bucks, depending on where you get it, and will last even a bath crazy person like myself a good three weeks. I always have a great sleep after bathing in this stuff.

Bath and Body Works Aromatherapy Luxury Bath in "Black Currant Vanilla" makes me feel like the sexiest woman alive-- even if it's just me in the house! It is a fantastic sensual fragrance grounded in notes of black currant and vanilla with an almost hypnotic combination of pumpkin, rosemary, and patchouli. I'm telling you, this is one masterpiece of a scent (totally needs to be an eau de parfum) and it relaxes me and just goes to my head! It's also fabulously moisturizing. Get a bottle for 16.50 and your local BBW and it will last between 5 to 7 uses. (Wonderful if you want to get in the mood before you and your sweety have a date night- or just bathe with him)




And this one doesn't have any bubbles, but "Stress and Tension" Liquids Mineral Bath by Village Naturals (the Village Company) is still fabulous. When you really have had a rough day and you need to just clear your mind and ease your muscles this will do the trick. It is a combination of relaxing menthol, and essences of juniper to releave stress and orange to rejuvenate. It is also mostly composed of naturally derived products, so no crazy chemicals in this bottle. Actually I bathed in it last night to relax and afterwards my body just felt so good and tingly. That menthol increases blood circulation. I fell right asleep afterwards and when I woke up I was amazed at how soft my skin was. Maybe it was the castor oil and aloe vera combo. Nevertheless, you won't regret soaking in this, especially if you're an hard working diva. It will set you back about 5 bucks as well.

WITH FLYNESS AND FOAM,
IKE

She Said What??? Black Women Quotes

"I don't think the relationship will work. I am 'sniff, swirl, sip'. He's more ' puff, puff, pass'."

- every once in a while these quotes are taken from personal accounts

Fierce Files: Remembering Our History Through Fly Women of Color

"Jeanne Duval" was a creole dancer and singer of Haitian origin, who relocated to Paris in 1842 where she began her infamous twenty year romance with French poet and literary critic Charles Baudelaire. Jeanne was an icon, however, of style and well-known through out the Bohemian world and aristocratic circles. She is the subject of Monet's famous "Baudelaire's Mistress". (Do note that Monet portrayed her as a Caucasian woman, perhaps he was concerned with selling the painting, but by all accounts she was recognizably of African descent).


She is best known, go figure, as Baudelaire's "Mistress of Mistresses" and his muse, and this is of course during a time when interacial love was deemed "gauche". So imagine, what confidence... what swagger, Madame Duval must have exuded. I love it.

In spite of the snubs of his peers and constant turbulance, Baudelaire was hopelessly in love with Jeanne and his "Black Venus" was the subject of many of his love poems. While it is clear that she held him spell bound, his fascination with her percieved exoticism and sexuality courses though the poetry.

Below is one of my personal favorites, "Sed Non Satitata" or "Never Satisfied". It is from his anthology "Fleurs du mal" or "Flowers of Evil", much of it a commentary on the women in his life, real and imagined. This translation from French is one of many variations, but I like this the best.

Sed Non Satiata

Strange deity, brown as nights,
Whose perfume is mixed with musk and Havanah,
Magical creation, Faust of the savanna,
Sorceress with the ebony thighs, child of black midnights,

I prefer to African wines, to opium, to burgundy,
The elixir of your mouth where love parades itself;
When my desires leave in caravan for you,
Your eyes are the reservoir where my cares drink.

From those two great black eyes, chimneys of our spirit,
O pitiless demon, throw out less flame at me;
I am no Styx to clasp you nine times,

Nor can I, alas, dissolute shrew,
To break your courage, bring you to bay,
Become any Proserpine in the hell of your bed!

— Geoffrey Wagner, Selected Poems of Charles Baudelaire (NY: Grove Press, 1974)