Get into the lingo...
*Waiting to Exhale moment- A romance-fueled rage that sends a woman’s emotions soaring toward the level of Bernie’s (Angela Basset) in Waiting to Exhale when she torched her husbands car, and coolly lit a cigarette while walking away.
*“RSVP?-n. An acronym used to describe a woman with very limited culinary skills. Stands for Rice, Soup, Vegetables, or Pasta. This term is often used by her male love interest after discovering that his girlfriend never passed the culinary skill set of boiling water and thus the variety of his homecooked meals will be limited. A play on the word RSVP, what his girlfriend happens to make best!
“Dirty Back-Pack?- n. style of dress and appearance marked by grungy attire, unkempt hair, some sort of open-toe shoe, more than likely a Birkenstock, and a back pack that never comes off the back. Typically used to describe the bohemian, *crunchy, *granola types. Coined by Wendy Williams.
Hasbian- n. A lesbian turned heterosexual.
Slackademic- n. a perpetual student who prefers the comfort of academia over the perils and tribulations of the work place.
*Anapaphobia- the wide-spread fear of water amongst women of African descent, particularly of the chance that substance might come into contact with their hair and thus stimulate a reversion to its curlier state.THe hysterics of a woman displaying symptons of anapaphobia will resemble someone suffering arachnophobia (fear of spiders). They may also frequently carry a discrete plastic bag, plastic cap, or shower cap just in case it rains unexpectedly.
Too bad/ Too bad for your life- a versatile reaction statement in response to a situation that is either unfortunate, sad, funny, awkward, crazy, or a hot mess
My life/soul/world/existence/ being/essence!!!- a dramatic, spontaneous outcry
What is your life- How are you?
*Trinkets- material goods that indicate one’s social standing… or one’s desired social standing.
Something new- a Caucasian romantic interest ex: I see your ’something new’!
* ‘Sig-O’- n. short for significant other; a man that is significant in a woman’s romantic life. This term can be used by a woman to describe the man she is dating exclusively or non-exclusively. It is also a healthy alternative to the banal status of “boyfriend”.
seedy- term used to describe a rendezvous point, person, or situation that is far less than couth, and should probably be discussed with close friends only in hushed tones
*Thatch Snatch- Brazilian Wax
Loves it- love it
Skinny bitch ideology- n. theory espoused by popular comedian, Monique, stating that all women below a size 6 are inherently bitches.
*Hiphopketball- n. term used to describe the profound preoccupation of young black males with basket ball and hip hop.
*Fiercetrocities- n. atrocities as they relate to a woman’s appearance. Ex: Chanee stumbled home the next morning looking nothing like a lady; messy hair, smudged mascara, scuffed shoes, and other disdainful fiercetrocities.
*UnDross-v. the act of seducing a woman with the aid of romantic R&B slow jams and love ballads. Though this word is clearly a portmanteau of Undress and Vandross, a woman might also be undrossed by the smooth sounds of Brian McKnight, Maxwell, Barry White, the Isley Brothers, Jodeci, John Legend, Boys II Men, and R. Kelly (just to name a few).
Bozone- n. the substance surrounding ignorant people that prevents bright ideas from penetrating.
Foreploy- n. misrepresentation about oneself for the purpose of getting laid.
Fabulosity-n. quality possessed by one who seems to be effortlessly fabulous; always put together, talented, well spoken, charismatic, and just in general a breath of fabulous air.
Truthiness- n. a humorous term in reference to the quality by which a person claims to know something intuitively, instinctively, or “from the gut? without regard to evidence, logic, or intellectual examination. This term was popularized by Stephen Colbert who has applied it to President Bush’s use of emotional rhetoric in justifying faulty political decisions.
Wikiality- n. reality by consensus as in the representation of truth on Wikipedia by consensus rather than fact. A portmanteau of Wikipedia and Reality.
*Bleakonomy- n. term used to describe the poor circulation of the black dollar within the black community.
*The Clean House Theory- the idea that people should not invite people into their dirty "houses", house being synonomous with life. A house must be maintained on the outside and in, secure, organized, appreciated, loved, respected, decorated in a way that best describes its inhabitant, and God should certainly be looking over that house. And until one fastidiously goes about tidying their house, houseguests should not be allowed; be they in the form of lovers or close friends. (as first espoused in my Xanga blog)
Femistapo-n. a portmanteau of Feminist and Gestapo. Stephen Colbert’s word for radical feminist.
Luxuriate- to relax in luxury. Term coined by radio mistress Wendy Williams.
*Cotillionized- adj. the state of having been introduced to formal society with a cotillion. For young women of color, this decadent event is usually sponsored by a local chapter of the Links Inc. , the Girlfriends Inc., Delta Sigma Theta Sorority Inc., or the Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Inc. and consists of long dance rehearsals, community service events, obsessive parents, etiquette classes, bothersome escorts, debutante drama, wedding dresses, and an over rehearsed curtsy.
*BROWS- acronym. Black Republicans On Wall Street. Pronounced like Bro’s.
Plumber man- n. 1. a man who is able to lay pipe with great skill 2. A man who has built a lifestyle off of laying pipe for a wealthier woman 3. a man whose only purpose for a woman is to lay pipe. Ex: No, it is not serious between Raheem and I, he just lays the pipe. (This sentence might ordinarily by followed by several exclamation points, but the concentration here is purely on the term)
*MACkled- adj. term used to describe the appearance of a woman who wears her meticulously applied make up like a mask.
Beat- adj. term used to describe a well-made up face, to the extent that the individual may look significantly worse without the cosmetics.
*Dead locks-n. dread locks that are so grown out and matted that the wearer can only cut them off. At this point, the dread locks should officially be pronounced dead.
Trustafarian- a young person who, as the beneficiary of a trust fund, does not have to work and who roughly matches the stereotype of being a white male student with dirty jeans and their hair in dread locks.
*Gangster-Stripper Dyad- term coined to describe BET's fixation with the archetypal images of African-American vixens and Black male "gangsters" as demonstrated frequently in the visual content of music videos (especially uncut) and the story lines of cinematic productions. (originally developed in Xanga Blog)
*Haute-mess- term used to describe someone, frequently a woman, who in appearance is amazingly put together, but the condition of their personal life is frequently a mess. A portmanteau of “Haute couture? and “hot mess?.
*Logophile- one who has a passionate love for new words, etymology, and neologisms ( I created this word for myself)
Blingtastic- adj. one who indulges in the adornment of diamond encrusted jewelry ( or diamond-like jewelry). Ex: Kimora Lee Simons is blingtastic.
Hipatitus-n. terminal coolness.
*Baptitude- derived from the acronym, BAP for Black American Princess, a term used to describe an African-American woman’s familiarity with female rituals of the Black bourgeoisie.
Negro Geography- n. the game-like series of questions used to initiate a conversation between two or more unfamiliar educated Black individuals. Typical questions may include, but are not limited to “Where are you from? Where did you go to college? Do you know? Do you know? Do you know? Do you know…..??
Greekdom- n. life after pledging one of the nine sororities and fraternities in the National Pan-Hellenic Council.
*Blacksploitasian- n. The current state of oligopoly within the African-American beauty product and nail-care market by Asians. Ex: Sally’s Beauty Supply is flagrant Blacksploitasian. When it enters a region, like the Wal-Mart effect, all Black-owned beauty supply stores are forced out of business.
‘N+2 Factor’- n. notable theory espoused by a savvy Yale alumnus, stating that when Black men enter Yale University (or Harvard for that matter) they suddenly gain two points on the scale of attraction and subsequently commit unsavory acts against females as they rejoice in their new found freshness.
Vineyardite- n. an African-American who vacations in Oak Bluffs, Martha’ s Vineyard summer after summer.
Iraqnaphobia- n. the state of hysteria over the terrorist threat as sparked by Pres. Bush in order to divert attention from the nation’s other critical matters.
*Flatusilence- n. the awkward moment after an anonymous individual passes gas and everyone in the room looks at one another with scrunched noses as if to suggest that they are not the reason it smells like rotten cheese at the moment.
*Mosdefness- the inexplicable, intoxicating, charismatic aura of Mos Def that renders most women weak at knees.
Storm - v. phrase used to describe a woman’s confident and sassy strut, usually performed in heels of 3 inches or higher. Frequently used in reference to some theoretical runway. Ex. Men watched in awe as Chante stormed the runway. (coined by Vernon-James)
*infassuation- general infatuation of Black men with the ample Black female derriere. Infassuation occurs in varying degrees of severity and only a small part of the Black male population will loose complete grip of reality when confronted with a voluptuous behind, however for the well endowed woman, rampant infassuation can be the bane of her existence. (And you know why I coined this term)
“Pump ha’’-exp. to increase the volume during one’s favorite song. Originally said by Janet Jackson at the beginning of her “That’s the Way Love Goes’ video.
*Nostrildamus- n. a physical condition marked by abnormally large nostrils. A person with nostrildamus can not necessarily see into the future, but if you look hard enough you can possibly see into their brain.
Stressing-n. A person with whom one is involved in a close relationship, frequently a romantic relationship, who brings more grief than happiness. A portmanteau of “stress? and “blessing?. Ex: God has made someone for you, and maybe you haven’t met him yet, that was meant to be a blessing and not a stressing.
Mr. Right Now- a woman’s current love interest who provides wonderful company and is good looking, but harbors one or more flaws that prevent him from ever being marriage material.
*Martin Luther Vandross-n. the tendency for non- Blacks to mix up African-American popular culture references.
*The Turner Complex- group of symptoms associated with a Black male who simultaneously identifies with the revolutionary behavior of Nat Turner and the abusive behavior of Ike Turner. He is passionate about the advancement of his people and spends his time reading Michael Eric Dyson and listening to John Coltrane. He can quote from the Auto Biography of Malcolm X and there is a picture of the Black Panther’s on his wall, however he can’t help but disrespect woman after woman as he concerns himself chiefly with his own satisfaction. If he doesn’t leave her with physical scars he leaves her with emotional wounds. The problem with a man suffering from the Turner Complex is that he is so self-convinced and often receives such affirmation from his peers that he is never forced to confront his faults.
*inlovidual- adj. the state of self-love that a woman embarks upon in order to heal from romantic wounds, possibly left from a man afflicted with the Turner Complex.
*mandacity-portmanteau of man and audacity. An umbrella term describing the machinations of the male sex to get what they want from women on their own terms. Ex: Jamal invited me to his place for the weekend after a month of ignoring me! His mandacity has reached a new level! (It is no coincidence that “mendacity? means falsehood)
Sucroscilliation- n. the act of shaking the packets of sugar before tearing them to pour into coffee or tea.
*Curtisms- n. the display of polite manners and pleasant small talk between two people that don’t actually like each other. Ex: Despite the fact that the two women knew they were dating the same man, when in seminar together, they regarded each other civilly making use of the appropriate curtisms and such.
*Gesticulocution- n. habit of frequent gesticulation while speaking; v. gesticulocute, to wave hands hysterically while in the middle of a profound thought. Ex: The grad student was known for such frequent gesticulocution that the slightest wave of his hand prompted the professor to ask, " Ummmmm, do you have a comment, or... are you just moving your arms?"
*movers and fakers- n. twirty-something individuals that wear their on-pointness like crisp, collar popped polo shirts hopwever in reality are much less together than they pretend to be
*Sliplash-v. the quick, nervous glance behind them that one makes after tripping.
*Intesexual- n. a nerd turned metrosexual. Intesexuals have a huge potential for being ruthless lovers as they’ve been ignored by most women for years. Intesexuals can be found largely at prestigious grad schools pursuing degrees in medicine, law, and business, as they were actually studying and wearing pocket protectors in undergrad.
*Butta-fly- adj. a woman in her early twenties that has undergone a stunning physical transformation.
*Euphemisery-n. condition marked by a tendency to misuse and often spontaneously create big words.
*yeterosexual-a man who is not gay... yet (created at the request of the lovely miss jackson, Tianna if you're...)
"*" Indicates this is a neologism of my own creation :-).