Read Smoke!

Read Smoke!
My latest book, "Smoke: poems of love, longing and ecstasy" is available for purchase on Amazon in e-book and paperback. Click book for link.

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Your First Resolution: Get Over, Get On

"Before the clock strikes 12, or at least before you get started on your new resolutions, first resolve to get over those who you feel have gotten over on you."

As we look toward 2009 we are inevitably setting new goals. This will be the year to find true love, drop ten pounds, finish that novel, and move forward in your career. I'm sure of it. But amidst your anticipation of a brand new year, have you closed the book on 2008?

The film Waiting To Exhale chronicles the journey of four single women through bouts of twisted romantic relationships, toward self-love and peace of mind. If you recall, it begins and ends with a New Years celebration. In the final scene they sip champagne and rejoice over a bond fire. (They also sing Roberta Flack's 'It Might Be You'... gotta love that song) But, that fire symbolizes the destruction of their anguish over failed relationships. It is their choosing to move on from slights made against them and past dreams unfilfilled. It symbolizes them taking back the pieces of their dignity that those men once took from them. And in the midst of those ashes is a fresh start.

Do note, I am not suggesting that you light a fire or that you light your ex's car on fire with his things in it. Think theoretically.

We tend to convince ourselves that we are ready for change when we really are not. Before we can venture closer to our ideal selves we have to overcome the pain that we have caused others and those that others have caused us. Before you can welcome sweet love into your life you have to accept those past heart breaks and grow from them. Before you can progress in your career you have to evaluate your past failures, recover, and then strategize for the future. And before you can move on with your physical goals, you'll need to amend any negative thinking and understand that the outer you is ultimately a reflection of what's going on inside. It'd be wise to love both.

You can not move into this next year still feeling like a victim of the past. 'Now' is a precious opportunity.

Before the clock strikes 12, or at least before you get started on your new resolutions, first resolve to get over those who you feel have gotten over on you.You don't have to like them, but don't allow these people, or their memory, to keep you down. I departed 2007 still sulking over a heart break, and you know what... I carried that entire burden through out 2008. Thoughts of him and what could have been clouded my decision making certainly put a damper on my love life... Until recently, I compared every man that I dated to him, fatefully, deciding to be miserable. I choose to leave those thoughts in 2008.

So as Erykah Badu once sang "Bag lady, you gon' hurt your back, carryin' all those bags like that..." step into 2009 knowing that "all you must hold onto is you". Learn from the past, realize that life is an eb and flow. Our lows guide us to our peaks. As the seconds tick toward midnight, live in the moment. See the blessings that are bountiful in your life right now! Leave all your sadness, drama, and baggage in 2008.

May your new year be filled with health, love, blessings, sass, soul, and all that your heart desires.